“Who can find a woman of valor? For her value is far above pearls.”

The Woman of the Verse:

This one always seems to throw people for a loop. After all, we have the very opening line of Eshet Chayil, and the woman it alludes to is someone that few people have heard of. Even more so, she is never explicitly mentioned in the Torah itself and is only referred to in the commentaries. How is this possible? Shouldn’t she be one of our Matriarchs? But perhaps that is the point. The women who can have the most profound effects on our lives and do the most transformative work may not be women we have heard of or will ever know. But that doesn’t detract from their influence. We need to do what is right whether or not there are witnesses. And when we are focused on our work and not what others are thinking, we often have impact that we may never even know has taken place.

While Noach’s (Noah) wife is not explicitly named in the Torah, when she is referred to we learn that her name, Na’ama, means ‘pleasantness’ which is quite similar to the name of her husband means ‘comfort.’ They were not only a team as husband and wife but they were chosen to be the leaders and oldest generation of the few families that would survive the flood.

Her job was to look at their past that would soon be destroyed, save what needed to be saved while preparing for their present, and with the focus being on creating a future that would be healthier and productive. Na’ama was a true soldier. But not in the traditional sense of fighting and harshness, but she accomplished what was needed through pleasantness, calmness and patience as her name suggests. The lesson is powerful. In the case of the times of Noach, the society needed to be destroyed. But just because there was evil, Na’ama didn’t allow it to define her. She maintained her sense of self and identity in a crazy, upside down world. And through ways of pleasantness, she survived, her family survived and they allowed for a new world to be established.

Furthermore, it is not just her ways that were pleasant but the entire topic of the ark that she entered alludes to language and being able to properly communicate. The Talmud explains that there were 10 measures of speech given to humankind, and 9 of them belong to women (Kiddushin 49b). The feminine has a very strong and innate connection to verbal expression (all joking aside that women talk too much!) The Hebrew word for the ark that Noach built is the word “teivah” which simultaneously means a “word.” They escaped the evil and destruction through entering into a safe space of healthy communication. Another allusion to this is that the dimensions of the ark itself spell the word “lashon” meaning “language.” The width of the ark was 30 cubits which numerically equal the letter Lamed. The length of the ark was 300 cubits which equal the letter Shin and the width was 50 cubits equaling the letter Nun.

Furthermore, the first verse of Eshet Chayil speaks of finding something or someone. Who can find the woman of valor? In the Talmud (Megilla 6b) it teaches that the process of finding first requires sincere looking. “If one says that he has looked (toiled) and has not found (succeeded), do not believe him. If he says he has found and has not looked, do not believe him. But if one says he has looked and has found, believe him.” Ultimately we are taught that if we put in the right effort, if we truly seek and invest the time needed, we will succeed and we will find.

When it comes to Noach, we learn that he has found something which we can now understand means he was looking for it as well. The Torah writes that: “Noach matzah chein b’einei Hashem” that Noach found favor/grace in the eyes of his Creator (Genesis 6:8). How did he find this grace?

Here is where a little algebraic formula can come in handy. There is another statement in the Talmud that relates to finding. Not only that we must believe only one who has looked and who has found, but a statement relating to the finding of one’s wife. This statement is also credit to King Solomon who was the author of this text. And he says: ‘Matzah isha matzah tov’ (Proverbs 18:22) One who has found a woman (i.e. His wife) has found good. Nice and straightforward.

So who found his wife? Noach. Who was therefore looking for his wife? Noach. And what did he find: “grace in the eyes of his Creator…” But he found something more. He found himself. By looking for his wife, towards his wife, for recognizing and revealing her valor, her strength, her potential…he found himself. For after all, the inverse of his name Noach is chein, what he is credited with having found.

So if you really want to find yourself, to discover parts of you that have not yet been revealed, you can dig deep and within. But you may also find that it is when you take the time to look at others, to look within others, that through that connection, through the sharing of that love, you will find abilities and potential and a part of you that was just waiting to be revealed.

In Part 4 we will discuss the letter Aleph that begins the verse and what lessons it teaches us about our potential.

http://www.interinclusion.org/inspirations/exponential-growth-eshet-chayil-part-4/

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